Chicken and tears

I was picking chicken off of the boney pieces for chicken and dumplings today. For some reason it made me think of mom. I thought how she would do this so carefully if it was her. I have no patience and do it quickly, but she would take her time to make sure every little bit was salvaged. She never wasted. When we had chicken which wasn't very often she always insisted she liked the necks and backs. I believed her as a child. Now as a mom I realize she liked them because no one else did.
 She always scraped the bowls so very carefully. She never threw away the slightest bit. She made things stretch. We never went hungry because mom was careful to store and save. We never had fancy foods but we always had full tummies.
 Now mom's mind has been devastated by the mini-strokes and seizures she has had. She cannot comprehend conversation. She is child-like in so many ways. And yet the life time habit of busy hands stay with her. She spoons things from one spot to the next. She wipes at the inside of an empty cup. She picks the blanket up and holds the corners out studying it. She matches the ends. You can see in her the motions of sewing and cooking.
 Those hands never had it easy. They worked and scrubbed without the aid of modern convenience. She didn't know what it was like to have hot running water. She washed outdoors with a wringer washer for most of her years. She did not have a dryer. I remember what it was like to try to hang clothes out in the winter with them freezing like a board before you could quite get them hung up. I remember moms red chapped hand as she worked outside in the cold to keep us in clean clothes. She NEVER complained. She always said how good she had it compared to her mom who washed on a shrub board and wrung her clothes out by hand. She was thankful. Always.
 So I try not to cry into the chicken as I remember how hard she worked and how little she had. I wish we could have made her life a little softer. A little easier. If you have been following my post you know why we couldn't. That is what brings me to tears. But she does have the respect and love of her kids. Oh yes she does!